Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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