Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
