A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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