ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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