Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
