got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Everything about him screamed your future.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
