Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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