This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
