when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My friends, they love my intelligence
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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