He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
