Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
