Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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