I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
