Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
