Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
