when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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