check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
