I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
