i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize