I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
