I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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