I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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