I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
