well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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