Just cropdusted the office
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
