can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
