Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
