New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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