All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize