In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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