I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
