Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
