I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
