My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
