Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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