i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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