After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
