is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
