wakey wakey hands off snakey
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
