OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
