i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
