I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
