They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
