we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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