You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize