And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
