You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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