yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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