Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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