do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
