I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
