hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
