i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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