I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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