I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
