did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
