real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
