We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We got so high we made milksteak
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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